


Archer/Reed Drabbles

by pretzelduck



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: Angst, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Romance, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-06
Updated: 2014-07-05
Packaged: 2018-02-07 16:08:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 1,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1905330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pretzelduck/pseuds/pretzelduck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A set of unrelated drabbles about Jonathan Archer and Malcolm Reed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Permission Denied

**Author's Note:**

> AN: Some of these have been posted elsewhere before and others have been hiding on my hard drive for a decade. Posted now for archive purposes. Not all tags apply to all chapters.

***

"May I kiss you, Malcolm?" 

A simple question but in it lies all my hopes. I've watched him patiently. Waiting to see. I want him to love me. Feel how I feel. There's a spark between us. Binding us together.

He faces me. His gray eyes don't look into mine. Their focus is my chest. I know what he's seeing. The four pips. The designator of my rank. Superior to him. His captain.

My mind screams. Look beyond it. Just a uniform... a job. 

"No."

He says it to my chest. To the rank. His eyes never did meet mine. 

***

"May I kiss you, Malcolm?"

I've been expecting this. His eyes follow me. I almost can hear the yearning of his heart. 

It's almost as loud as mine.

I want to give in but I can’t. There are things that a Reed just does not do.

His eyes are my weakness. One glance and all will be lost. Sometimes, if I look just right, I can see a future in his green eyes. Our future. A happily ever after.

It cannot be. He is my commanding officer. I have to remember that.

“No.”

Duty above all else. At any cost.

-fin-


	2. Concessions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Set during Season 3.

***

I promised myself last year that on the next Valentine's Day, I would do something about my growing attraction to my captain.

Call him Jon or take his hand in mine.

Let my heart guide my actions. Tell him that the interest I swear I saw in his eyes was mutual.

So much has happened since that promise. I can't see him in his eyes. There is a darkness I fear there now. 

I let this day pass me by. Into the night, I whisper my only concession.

A prayer that I can one day tell him he's my valentine. 

***

Malcolm always comes when the nightmares are at their worst. I stand alone, surrounded by my demons. He says my name and takes my hand. I pull him into my embrace and the nightmare fades.

I'm awake now. The clock says it's tomorrow. Valentine's Day has passed.

I think I've always wanted to woo him. Romance him.

Make him fall in love with me.

I can't now. To lead others back into the light, I have to stay in the darkness. But my heart still glows. I made a promise to myself.

One day, I'll tell Malcolm he's my valentine.

-fin-


	3. Forgotten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Set during Season 3.

I savored the feel of his body against mine. His breath on my neck. Him sleepily burrowing against me. The excuse was sharing body heat in an emergency. I wonder if I could recreate it aboard Enterprise.

I'll take any excuse I can get. Despite his nature, I'm surprised he allowed it.

Allowed himself to forget I was his subordinate. 

He has forgotten before. We were lovers before.

The Xindi took him away from me. Jonathan made a choice when we left for the Expanse.

I wasn't it.

Now I'm merely an armory officer whose memory of love is fading. 

 

-fin-


	4. Frozen in Time

***

He let me touch him.

I've done it before, a hand on his shoulder or back. But this was something else. Something more.

Trip wanted a group photograph during our last shore leave. Malcolm seemed relucant to join so I wrapped my arm around his waist, pulling him against my side.

I never realized how much I liked the smell of his cologne.

Instead of his usual response, I got something new. Malcolm turned and looked slightly up at me, his captain...

And smiled.

I have that picture beside my bed. We're grinning at each other.

No one else exists.

***

I'm staring at that photograph again.

I can't help myself. Itself a weakness, it captures a weak moment.

He was too close and the sunlight was hitting his face. It made his green eyes light up. I wish I knew how to make them do that.

And then he had to touch me.

His fingers gripped my waist and I could feel the strength in them. As we touched, I could feel a fire spread.

It burned away my reserve. That's my only excuse.

I smiled up at him; he smiled down on me. We looked like lovers.

If only.

 

-fin-


	5. Learning Curve

***

Another black mark on my record. Is my tally at 50 yet for attempts at fraternization?

Since when are words complex?

Since Captain Archer, I suppose. Most are put off by my behavior. Someone once remarked that I should come with an instruction manual.

He doesn't seem to need or want one, though. His tries at talking to me are almost as disheartening as my attempt to continue the conversation.

My mind's reminders of protocol overshadow the yearning of my heart.

The sparkle in his eyes and the sound of my name on his lips are enough to try again.

***

Talking is supposedly an art form. With Malcolm, it's a science. One that requires perfection. I've been trying to find the perfect formula that will relax him.

Not too informal; a few lieutenants thrown in there to keep him on balance.

Too forward or any innuendo and I lose him. He disappears behind anti-fraternization regulations. 

I've learned something trying to talk with Malcolm... 

That we'd be great together.

I've dreamed of nights spent with my arms around him, talking of our separate pasts and joined future. 

With each conversation, I'm closer.

The glimpses of Malcolm are enough to try again.

 

-fin-


	6. Too Much Patience

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Implied and vague character death

\-------

I still remember the first time I held Malcolm in my arms.  
***

His gray eyes held mine. The warmth of his lean body seeped into my skin as he pressed against me. One of my hands rested lightly on his upper arm. I had wanted to run my fingers through his hair but his quiet voice was a greater temptation.

"I waited too long." Malcolm looked so distraught. I was accustomed to seeing him calm.

"Waited too long for what?"

"Us."

His eyes closed as he buried his face in the crook of my neck.

I never held him again.

***

He knew he was going to lose me. I could tell by the look in his green eyes. I was going to slip away and there was nothing he could do.

"I waited too long." It hurt to talk but I had to say something. I couldn't just leave him. Not after all this.

"Waited too long for what?" 

For you. For me. I wanted to be closer to you. I suppose this is as close as I will get.

"Us."

I pressed closer to him. The last memory I'll have is him. Of Jon slowly fading away from me. 

 

-fin-


	7. The Reason Why

***

"Life is for living, Malcolm. Not for finding the most useful way to die."

His hand was on my shoulder as he said it and I could see an unfathomable pain in his hazel eyes.

Death is not something I welcome. But for you, Jonathan, I will meet death with no hesitation.

Because I couldn't live without you.

I wish I could explain my actions to you. I wish I could show you what you've done. The warmth you've made me feel. The part of me that your touch has awakened.

I don't want to live life alone. Not anymore.

 

-fin-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: I intentionally left Malcolm's fate vague here. I like to think he lives but I'm a romantic at heart.
> 
> AN2: That's all of them. If I ever write more, I'll add on.


End file.
